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@ <$BLOGDATEHEADER$>

Recently...
i've been thinking ...
Why is everyone so happy but why am i not .
First i thought that i don't deserve to be happy... but the more i think of it , the more it does'nt make sense.

Then came my friends ... why am i not as unique as them ...
but one day euegene told me that i was very unique.
have i really have no confidence in my looks ?
No.. Euegene said i am good enough.
Then why am i so insecure?
why am i so afraid of feeling alone?
Why can't i find someone to love.
Why am i still back to square one ?
What is there that i have not try enough to change?
Why am i feeling so empty ?

Then the everyone told me .. because i am me .
But the true solution came.

Edmund said that to understand how everything works ,
understand yourself.
Be selfish when you want to . be self-centre because you are you .
Don't hesitate in doing things , be yourself.
A man must have faults to be a man .

First start from understanding what you like and you don't like .

Like

1) Sadistic cartoon . example : cute things torn apart.

2) Enjoy getting immerse in doing something i like.

3) Dreaming of the perfect girl to love.

4) Getting attention ..

5) To be thinking while listening to love songs.

6) Smashing basketball against the hood.

7) music .

8) Watching fun shows .

9) Looking in the mirror .

10) Laughing .

11) Daydream in the bus

12) look at beautifull scenery .

13) sitting under the tree falling asleep.

14) The Fresh morning .

15) The mysterious night .

16) Walking in the lonely streets .

17) Talking to myself.



Dislike

1) Selfish people.

2) Self-centre people.

3) People who mistook my true intention.

4) Backstabbing acts.

5) Things i do not understand. Example : ghost. But zombies and mutants are understandable.

6) The Whatever people .

7) The KAN anoying people.

8) The CCB sacastic people .

9) Hypocrites.


History
-Born in 1992 feb 27
-Live with kor kor and jiejie untill pri 3 .
-Got abuse in a tution centre.
-Had a crush with elaine in pri 6 .
-study in edmund house for 2 years .


-Had internet when i was secondary one.
Was a quiet boy when i was secondary one.
First love when i was in secondary 2 .
-Found interest in basket ball.


-First smoke in basketball court


-Second love
-First time holding hands with a girl
-Stupid idea of holding hand with her to guide her across the road.
-Really really shy .
-got dump by a sms =.=


-Left the ah beng group when i moved house to 432
-went to church
-Wanted to fuck god after pastor ruin my life.
-Third love
-being Treaten to hurt the second love
-broke up .


Secondary 3
-moved to bukit batok
-Got back with second love on feb 27/28.
-Third love torn us apart because i was weak .
-However am not able to get over her .
-Third love tried to harass .
-Depressed and almost tried sucide with cutting wrist .
-Stopped because second love invited me to her birthday party.
-third love harass again .
-Friends spoke up .
-Got depressed again .
-second love cheered me up.
-Failed badly for exams.
-retook exams and passed it.


Secondary 4
-Hook up in music by Dong ban shin ki
-Hook up in music by super junior.
-Fell in love with second love again ... ( Urhhh... =.= )
-rejected.



-Enjoyed the company of the class mate sitting beside me .
-noticed that she's quite cute and love-able.
-Wild life with friends.
-Friend stayed in my house.
-Studied quite hard .
-Secretly wanted to confess to classmate.
-Classmate confessed to me =))
-Agreed and first date during the holiday.
-was quite shock by how she wore.
-Was really really shy when she held my hand .
-Thought that i'm not good enough for her .
-Thought that i was not good looking enough to fall in love.
-Was afraid that others might laugh at us.
-Thought of many stuff , therefore neglected her .
-Broke up.
-gave letter and i almost wanted to tear it up .
-Told her that i was thankfull to be able to fall in love again




-Met her in chalet again .
-She was the first thing that caught my eye.
-Tried to firt with her .
-Failed , LMAO .
-When her friend said something redundent .
-I tried to walk off , because i was shy .
-called a friend that i was quite fond of.
-talked to her for during the chalet.
-Enjoyed talking to her.
-fell in love with talking to her on the phone .
-Girl return home on the second day .
-Became really restless.
Came back half dead.
Some one came to the house without trying to tell.
was Pissed off.
-Got a job
-Argued with friends.
Friend cheered me up.
Edmund talk sense into me.
-Friend's girlfriend's bday.
Got critise that i look and act abit like a girl .
Pissed off.
Went home thinking how to become man-lier.
-Changed.

Currently - stronger than before.

hope*